IS LOVE A TABOO?

Is love a taboo? Isn’t this too strong, a statement for a fragile and most beautiful feeling in the universe? Well may be yes, but ironically it is so true for a society that we live in. Since my childhood there have been quite a few relationships in which I wanted to pour out my heart and soul. But I didn’t or I would rather say I wasn’t allowed as I was preached since early age to give my love only to my children, to my parents, my future husband and probably of own status. And these unspoken boundaries limited my capability to express what’s inherent inside each of us.

Love is often hidden in layers or cramped in boxes and as a word is most hard to speak or talk about. Don’t believe me? Look at these statements:

“Think with your head not with your heart”, this propagates you to be logical and not sensitive. Why is it that bad a thing? What do Abraham Lincon, Thomas Alva Edison, Jim Carey and Nicole Kidman have in common, they all were noted a having highly sensitive characteristics and they did phenomenally well in their field and are admired and recognized as leading through caring for humanity, positive change movements, and self-discovery practices, something that sensitive people are good at!

Let’s take a look at this statement, “This is not your age to fall in love”. Well, what does it even mean? I guess the moment child is born; it develops an emotional bond with its mother. Have you ever noticed how when a child crawls it keeps coming back to its mother? That is Love! So guess, the above statement by ‘experts of society’ remain flawed.

Not agreed yet?

How many of you watch the daily News? Most of you, ever heard of love being talked about in the news channels? Forget about News channels in our own social media accounts how many times do we share thoughts or tweets about love. Remember that couple that we all have on our facebook friends list, so much in love and are always posting romantic pictures. After some point in time, we start criticizing them, start getting annoyed or sometimes even block them. “They were show-offs.” Really? Aren’t we dealing our own fears here?

As a young girl, we had a maid and she had a daughter just my age. As kids, we are the purest soul and never care about the classic obstacle in our mind ‘What will they think! I remember when her mother used to do the daily chores, I used to play with her daughter, and we slowly became best friends, completely unknown to my mother, who was a working woman.

I used to share all my toys with her and she used to get me ice candies from local ice cream shops all the way from her home, most of the time I consumed my ice candy in the form of colored water. But what matters is the gesture!

It was my Birthday and I had all my friends at my place, dressed in colorful and expensive clothes. As my mother, held my hand and took me to cut the cake, I told her I am waiting for my best friend. “Did I miss calling someone dear? As far as I know all your friends are here?”  “No, I am waiting for Meena”, it was my maid’s daughter name. “You and she can’t be friends, her mother works for us and that is the only relation you have with her, let’s cut the cake.”

As I was cutting the cake, I saw her standing in the corner, she was easy to notice as she was the only one in that party with faded frock, messed up hairs but that always welcoming smile and today she was holding two ice candies as my Birthday gift. I so wanted to go up to her, give her a bite from my cake and tell her how much I love her but couldn’t. The societal block overcame me that day. I lost a friend over a taboo!

Years passed and now Meena has taken over the responsibility of her mother. Whenever I look at her, she still greets me with same loving warm smile and makes me wonder; maybe we could have been friends if society rule of love was not based on our socioeconomic strata. Today as I sit here and think, how can love ever be inappropriate? Shouldn’t we say “I love you” to anyone we want, simply because we feel that way. Shouldn’t we deny the internal and external pressure to hide our feelings because they’re somehow inappropriate?

It all starts early; in schools and colleges we get teased by our friends for falling in love and are often mocked. Why, is it such a bad thing?

How many times have you felt uncomfortable when someone told you “I love you”, be at school, at college, a work, at our own homes. Sometimes we freak out when our parent come and tell us “I love you”. You have thousands questions running your mind, when all that is needed is a simple “I love you.”

Guess we don’t have much choice here either we can continue to live in a guarded way to feel suspicious of love and or we can work to reduce the taboo that love is for us!

(Image Source: Google Inc.)

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13 thoughts on “IS LOVE A TABOO?

  1. The experience shared here have really touched my heart and in fact I too had been through it at an innocent stage of my life. I could really sense those feelings expressed through your lovely words. I will call it a perfectly penned article.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there Ashrita,
    I would really like to know do you still talk to Meena the way you were talking with her in your childhood… What a beautiful example you gave… I remember my childhood days too… Usually we dont keep guys as maids… And in our house too we had a female as maid. She had so many girl children… They all used to come with her… We used to play with them as their mom used to work at our home… But as the time passed by we went into that societal frame where they pulled themselves away from us and so did we… That is sad.

    I don’t understand how a pure emotion can be termed as taboo… or suppressed…? Why can’t people/elders harness that emotion positively, guiding the person concerned… or their children? How beautiful the world will be when we are taught how to harness our feeling of love in a beautiful way instead of forcing us to suppress it or murder it so to speak.

    It’s a great article. You reminded me of my favourite angel Kuljeet… She will definitely read this and comment on it. Thank you for writing it doc. God bless you!

    Regards, CP

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot Chiradeep for coming out with such a touching topic. In my growing years as I was in ‘that age’, I kept my distance from her. But once I reached a stage where I realized that societal influence is not something I will live with, I started talking to her the same way as I would to someone who spend their life with us, and encouraged every one in the family to do so, now she is treated like a family member. She reciprocates our love by sharing her sorrows and happiness with us and she is extremely happy and satisfied to be a part of our family.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for doing so. You broke that wall of negative trend when you are in control. In my case it was not possible as I am male and they all got married and went to live in their respective in-laws house. If we start doing that and teach the next generation by setting an example in front of them then this trend will finally cease to exist.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks Ashrita for opening my eyes. I mean when the topic was first suggested I was not sure what to write in it. I guess I was looking at the topic from only one dimension. You opened up multiple dimensions to the word love.
      I could totally relate to it. My teenagers sons squirm if I hug or kiss them in public. Saying I love you or hearing I love you makes many uncomfortable.
      Thanks Chiradeep for mentioning me. If this article reminded you of me then I am truly honoured.
      Excellent work Ashrita..


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      Liked by 2 people

  3. Reblogged this on Life Images and commented:

    What’s your take on love, do you think love should be hidden behind societal barriers? Isn’t love in its purest form, a bliss given by universe and that should be expressed.

    Like

    1. I second your thought, we need to understand love is nothing to be ashamed of or hidden in barriers be it between lovers, siblings, parents, friends and it definitely not based or limited to any strata.

      Like

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