STOP… DON’T PUT THEM IN A PRESSURE COOKER…

Today it was my children’s open day. The day when the parents meet the teachers and get to see the answer sheets and report cards. Meeting the teachers was very pleasant experience. But it was meeting the other mothers later that got me thinking.

I met a mother and son duo. Mother was very anxious to know what is the percentage of marks scored by the topper in the class. Is it 94% or 96%? She was really upset that her child does not study and how she gets a headache and falls ill with stress whenever the kid’s exams are near. You know the boy had a Vice-Captain batch pinned on and his marks were 92%. I mean instead of praising his achievements his mother was ranting because he was not the topper.

Another boy scored a good percentage but they were waiting outside the principal’s cabin to meet and complain about the English Teacher and how because of the teacher her son’s marks were going down. There was so much stress on the boy’s face it was evident that he did not want to meet the principal but mother was adamant.

It’s not only in studies I have seen similar instances in sports also.

One of my friend’s children play golf at amateur level. Through her I have heard a lot of stories about how parents try to bribe the caddies to fiddle with the performance rating and bring their children on the top. Or how they berate their children in public if they don’t perform well on a particular day.

Why do we parents forget our own time as kids? Were we best in everything we did? Did we come up to our parents expectations? Or even if we thing we were toppers throughout our life, our child is a different individual living in different times. The kind of pressure on the children these days to perform is so tremendous. We parents try to live our own dreams through our children.

Recently there was a news headline on how a child of class 11 killed another child of class 4 just because he wanted to postpone or cancel the exams and open day. Can you imagine how desperate the boy was? He found killing someone more doable than facing an exam or his parents after the report card was given.

Most of us who are reading this article would think that yes this happens but not with me and my children. I don’t compare or pressurise my children. If you are thinking on those lines then maybe you are right but still I request you to look around. Sit down and communicate with your child. Let him or her know that whatever happens his parents are there by his side.

And do look out for warning signals. Today I saw one. My son scored very badly in his maths exam this time. The answer sheets were shown to the kids at school but he conveniently forgot to tell me the marks. Today in school when I saw his answer sheet it was a shocker for me. I was filled with rage. But then I realized that his low score did not hurt me that much. With a little more practice he can come up again. What pinched me was the fact that my son did not come and tell me his marks. Maybe it’s time for me to “Practice what I Preach”.

So guys keep learning new ideas, new tricks and keep checking whether you are on the right track. Happy Parenting…