Dealing Desperation, SNIPPETS

A CORNUCOPIA OF THOUGHTS

I Like it. I Love it. I Desire it. I Need it. I am Desperate for it. I Can’t have it. I am Depressed. This will Ruin me. Nothing I do Ends this. I Need to Let Go. It’s Hard. I am Practising it every day. I am Learning. I still Want it, but I am NOT Desperate. I have Moved on. I was Silly. I can do Better. Until……I Like it.

Human life is purposeless without passions and dreams and desires.

There are some things which you don’t need or want; you are desperate for them. At the same time, those things need not be relevant to you otherwise but that that particular moment in time.

On the one hand, a man in the cold winter night, out on the road can be desperate for a cup of steaming hot coffee while another can be desperate for the loving warmth of a loved one.

So many times, in my despair and my grief I had been desperate for something I could never have. I was desperate for my fathers loving embrace. I was desperate to hear him retake my name, to hear his voice boom in my house. I was aching to listen to the sound of his footfalls and the screeching halt of his car tyres. I was yearning for him to come and tell me all the unspoken things that I was feeling but was unable to say. That was more than six years ago, but even today there are days when I feel that I need him to come and tell me he is proud of me, that he is happy to see me evolving.

I was unwell a little while ago; those were the times of fear and gloom for me. I am somewhat of a hypochondriac, and that makes me needing someone to assure me again and again that everything will be alright. Those were the days I was yelling in my soul, screaming silently for my father. I was anguished for him, I needed him by my side, holding my hand and calming my fears.

Different people are desperate for different things at the different point of time. But none of us, trust me, none of us has been untouched by Desperation.

While a child is desperate for friends and company, a newly married couple feels the same for solitude. Where deaf crave to hear some noise, the normal want to shut their ears and block out all sound. While a tired man wants to sleep, a bored man is in need of work. I am in the city, and I am desperate for the simple village life, and my cousin in the village wants to switch places with me.

I am too small to explain such a huge phenomenon, but what I do know is that to be desperate is hard work. It is something you do 24/7 because you just can’t stop until you have acquired the object of your despondency. And if for one reason or another you are unable to have it, you can sink into deep depression and discomfort. It is a very consuming aspect as we can’t just shake it off.

Despairing for simple things like food, water, shelter and money can be met with sooner, but aspirations like love, happiness, contentment, possession, fame and success can lead us to live half a life that is full of nothing but long mourning of the unrealised desires of our proverbial heart. Everything good and positive in us is replaced by melancholy, pain, sorrow and unhappiness. It can make us lose our confidence and our empathy.

I would suggest you all be Desperate and to be desperate enough but to channel that energy into your goals and your purposes and your aims. There will be no use sitting in the confinement of your house and pacing your room while rubbing your knuckles. What will give you peace, reserve, harmony and stability is a greater understanding, knowledge with which we need to sort the things in our list of desires and rule out the entries that are unrealistic, unworkable and nonsensical.

Be Passionate. Be Driven. Not Desperate !

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