Every human action, every deed, every intention, all over the universe, at a very fundamental level, is instigated by one of the two factors. One, is, of course, love. Deeds done out of love.And the second one is fear. Deeds done out of fear. Behind every act, at the most root level, lies the seeds of either love or fear.

Childhood is the most impressionable age for the mind and its perspective of the environment. Most of our Phobia’s or Fear’s germinate in our youth. The very malleable and ductile psyche of a child is prone to get affected by any scary or frightening events for a lifetime. They are our core memories, and they often turn into unfounded fears that haunt us all our coming years.

Kids know many fears – fear of the darkness, fear of the ghosts, fear of the unknown, fear of strangers, fear of dogs, fear of punishment, fear of loss, and many more. Usually, these concern vanish as we grow older and become first teenagers, then adults. But some people never get over their childhood fears.

This is the very reason that we tend to save our children from witnessing violence or unnatural phenomenon. We all go through few such instances, and hence we all have our unique set of fears and phobias, some that are reasonable and logical and some unfounded and illogical.

A phobia is an irrational fear of something. Unreasonable meaning that there’s no reason to be afraid of it. Although a phobia is very similar to fear ‒ but the reaction to the threat is exponentially stronger, enough that it interferes with their daily activities. You see something that reminds you of something that scared you very strongly, the feeling of panic you experience reinforce the visual stimuli, which in turns reinforces the kinesthetic part of it and you are in a vicious circle feeding itself, and the panic is uncontrollable.

Fears are natural, normal and human to experience. They carry, within them, lessons and opportunities for growth. How we respond to our fear is what determines the usefulness of the fear. Fear can be the engine that impels us forward or the brake that keeps us grounded but is the one who decides which one it is.

Now let me tell you a little bit about my phobias and try to fathom from where they generate. The strange thing about my phobias is that they are contradicting, let me tell you how:

1. I have Isolophobia or Monophobia, or Autophobia is the fear of being alone. It turns out I suffer from this to a great extent. I always have nightmares about being left alone or left behind. I hate separation to the limit of keeping everyone at a distance so they won’t get too close or I might have to suffer when they finally leave someday. I feel sad at small instances when my relatives leave after spending a day with me. I just hate Goodbyes. I think its roots are buried somewhere deep in my psyche. Being an only child, I was often told that someday I would have no immediate blood relatives left and that fear on.y strengthened when my father passed away. I get so paranoid with this fear that sometimes I decide to die rather than being left all alone.

And then I have Enochlophobia or Ochlophobia. Enochlophobia is the exact polar opposite of Monophobia. I suffer from this condition, and I am afraid of crowds of people, I want to be left alone. Social gatherings scare the shit out of me, and I’m always shying away from public meetings because of the crowds. Imagine suffering from this disorder if you lived in Delhi, Mumbai or even in London. Sensory overload aplenty!

Just think how terrible it gets for me because at one side I am scared of being left alone and on other, I can’t stand crowd. I am comfortable only in the company of a handful of people.

Iatrophobia is a social phobia of doctors or going to see doctors from which I suffer. This fear extends to surgeons, getting injections, getting medical diagnostics or anyone in the medical field. The effects of this phobia are bad and result in me not receiving medical treatment when suffering from medical problems. It might have stemmed from a traumatic childhood experience with a doctor, being intimidated by some doctor, or a fear of surgeries and procedures It is also from a fear of pain or a fear of catching other diseases from the doctors’ surgery I guess. I resist getting medical help to the point where it gets dangerous for me, and my mother is often left in a fix when she sees me suffer and can’t help me.

And then I have Hypochondria which is a belief that physical symptoms are signs of a severe illness, even when there is no medical evidence to support the presence of a disease. It’s one of the worst things I cope with on a regular basis. I’m sure everyone has those moments where they feel a weird pain, and they google it, and WebMD says that they’re probably dying, a simple cough could be cancer, a simple headache could be a brain tumour, a simple chest pain in heart attach and simple numbness is a stroke. All this leads to depression and anxiety which in turn make the symptoms worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle.

The good thing is I am slowly recovering from these things. I am slowly coming out of my horror. I know I drive my mom crazy because I’m always asking what’s wrong with me. When there isn’t anything wrong. I go to the Dr much more easily now. I let people go much more easily and I try to attend get-togethers and Parties. So, all in all, I am doing good.

The above two given phobias are also contradicting Phobias as they oppose each other. On one end I am dying of fear that I have some terminal disease while on another end I can’t eliminate the fear because I won’t go to a doctor or won’t get any tests done.

When it comes to phobias, one of the most influential methods to get rid of them is to meet your fears face to face. If you are afraid of snakes, go into a room with one(just make sure it’s not poisonous). For everything, there’s a basis, so you’ve got to pinpoint the exact problem, to solve THAT. Growing “tough” is not what you want. Overcoming phobia, stress, and fear is what you want to work on. You’ve got the power to resolve everything. So, the answer always lies within yourself, but it’s a method getting there. Medication and therapy help but it all depends on person to person. You probably heard things like “You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink, “ and despite how annoying it is it’s true. The thirst needs to come from within. The person overcoming a fear has to see it as a problem, except its a challenge, want to change the problem and take steps to overcome it. I would look up that particular fear and see how other people did it. Each concern is different and needs to be treated as such.

Have fun, smile, and live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. ‘Carpe Diem.