EMOTIONS THAT DRAIN ME,​ YET STRENGTHEN ME

“It was an amateur me

A spontaneous moment

wherein I lost all the integrity

The lessons I read but never implemented

a moment of childishness

a moment of anger

that exploded in me

It was quick but left an impact on many 

I never turned back to look what was the impact

but the effect stayed along in me as I walked away

for a moment it was relieving 

for a moment it was clouding my thoughts 

unable to throw me out of my dilemma

I ran away from the emotions

I closed my eyes, to read my heart

yet it was deceiving me too.”

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If I could recall a moment of emotional me, it would be the last job I worked on. It was not a decision  I made, but the “emotional me” let me decide that I do not want to be crunched under those political feets. I was drained emotionally, unable to think and every effort I took was not getting noticed. In a way, it was draining me. I knew being emotional in a corporate world was not a right choice.

Bein born to get attached to people and things was the only defect I had. I knew I had the least survival chances in the corporate world, as I never knew how to be swim across the current. The only solution was to bid goodbye to my job and leave myself in an isolation. Yet, the decision was strong enough for me. It brought in a positive aspect of life into me. Though initially, it was an untamed emotion, gradually it became an asset to me, to decide and understand the world. The emotional step changed my life as a whole, yet I was happy.

Being a mother, changed the whole perspective of emotions in me. My heart seemed to be much more vulnerable when am a mother. A heart that yearns to be with the child always. I realised motherhood is the weakest emotion that let you carry away, yet the strongest of all. I realised that emotions are my strength – the power of love, anger, gratitude, sadness everything in a mixed form – that is what I am. I am proud of it now.

 

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“As I look at you

The only feeling that accumulates  

is the feeling of love

emotions became my strength 

emotions let me feel you the most

As you arrived in my life 

there was a reason that my eyes watered

It was the strongest feeling that aroused in me

the feeling of being a mom

you drive my emotions crazy

yet you are my life 

you are my weakness

you are my strength

there is nothing more joyful than being a mom“

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Being a mother, I enjoy the roller coaster ride of emotions.

To quote : 

“Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.”

Roger Ebert

Yes, emotions are our inner strengths undefined.  An asset to us, which helps our unconscious mind lead us to the right path. Driven by emotions at times might lead you into troubles, yet every step in life is a lesson. A lesson to be learned, a lesson to be cherished.

 

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