BEING EMOTIONAL ISN’T A FLAW, IT’S DESIGN EXCELLENCE …

I am a very emotional person. Being a woman and also sensitive, crying comes naturally, I cry, cry a lot. It was only today I cried the last, majority of my early mornings or when I slip into sleep I do shell some tears. Please don’t ask me why, I really cannot explain. 

As I grew up, entered the male dominated corporate world, I learnt that displaying emotions is considered negative and can badly effect my career. I get very emotional but usually in solitude, so I tried not to display emotions often when others are around. A very few people even are considerate about those who display their emotions, I am saying it out of my experience, I have had tough times when people consider all of it fake. 

How long can we control emotions? That depends, irrespective of the duration we can catch hold of our emotions, they are going to come out one day. The same happened with me very recently at work. I am the kind of person, who takes in a lot of pressure, take-up challenging tasks at work but yet try to be contained. It has been over an year I was handling one such task, we were due for some thermal tests for our equipment, there were a ton of issues, people refused to accept the root cause. I tried my level best to handle the situation, but it was way out of my control, it is hard to stand against a group of leadership defending against what they think is absolute ‘nonsense’ isn’t the case.

One fine evening, after a two hour long meeting while I stayed all in silence, at the end of it, I uttered 3 sentences, my voice had a shiver, tears in my eyes, it felt like the moment where I was breaking down. Before so many people I really felt embarrassed, this one instance gave me a tag of “an emotional person” in my team. Anywhere people encountered me, they just used to say, “she is very emotional”, because of my already established understanding of being emotional as not so good thing, I was worried. 

Last Thursday, I was almost done with my lunch, about to leave but was waiting for others to finish. Meanwhile my teammate and very good friend of mine asked if he can join, I replied, “sure”. He noticed all of us were almost done and said “may be I joined at the wrong time”. Everyone was talking about something, one person said “she is very emotional, very much , she cannot just handle”, pointing a finger at me. My friend replied “Yes, she is but you cannot find such people easily”, I looked at him with an expression of surprise on my face. 

“Look, I am not trying to convince you, but I will tell you what I have learnt in life. I am not talking only about you but people similar to you who are adding value. One of my previous teammates was just like you, very sincere, at the same time she was intelligent, if she thinks her design would make the architecture better she used to sit for hours to prove its worth. Tell her there is an issue, she would sit all alone in the night to fix it. There are many people who just don’t do anything, not only in our team but many teams, sincere people are making projects succeed. Emotional people are very sincere. Being emotional is not at all negative and in fact your sincerity along with the emotion makes others really consider it. Emotions, let them be, they are only going to help you. Don’t even think of changing yourself, it’s not worth”, these were his words. 

It is very true. Every word of his is true. Emotions are really good and turn out to be helpful. If any of you have the habit of watching TED talks, there are many videos where people just break into tears. Their emotion displays their sincerity, as an audience I have always felt more involved when I watch speakers feeling emotional. When they knew few hundreds of people are watching them live, they are being video-graphed, and the video is going to stay in history forever, people don’t feel the need to hide their emotions.

I personally do not consider being emotional as negative. My emotions have always helped me discover who I am, they have taught me to a great deal, they make me dwell into situations better, make better decisions after I am over the emotional turmoil. Being emotional helps me make deeper connections with others, in some way if I can be of some help that’s really awesome. 

Men or women, it is important for us to display our emotions when appropriate, or when we cannot handle anymore, people who love us would understand us. The expression of emotion could be anger, frustration, ecstasy, many other feelings which can be overwhelming, but trust me, we would be loved the same by people who really know who we are. Let yourself be, let your emotions flow ….

“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~Swedish Proverb

 

 

 

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13 thoughts on “BEING EMOTIONAL ISN’T A FLAW, IT’S DESIGN EXCELLENCE …

  1. Aastha dear this article is a perfect extension of my theory that I wrote yesterday. Your life experience can help many people who think “being emotional” is a weakness. God bless you abundantly for nailing it again.

    Regards, Dada

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  2. Great article!
    The first stanza itself says…how emotional you are and I believe that has made you a good writer and moreover a ‘good human being’.
    Keep up being emotional…the world might never understand exactly…as it has never understood itself exactly but GOD does Understands & Truly cares!
    I love this piece of writing. Thank you

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  3. Ability to feel deeply is not a weakness or fault and it’s comes very naturally to someone like you, that’s all. Restraining ones feelings may be viewed as matured or a positively strong trait but that can also compromise your health. As far as others pointing fingers and labelling you, they don’t know a thing about your journey, they don’t walk in your shoes and they sure as hell are not living your life. Releasing emotional pressure is never a bad idea but wallowing more than necessary, not such a good idea. If I may, I would suggest three things that you may find helpful, when you feel like you’re about to break, ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen and if it’s really that bad? I do that and it helps when I analyse. Secondly, tell yourself, this is not the place to break down and that you will deal with this emotional crisis a little later for sure, keep them aside and consciously focus on whats more important. To feel strong, muster some courage and productive rage (I do not mean negative rage, I mean determination based). Thirdly, if you have a tendency to break down more often, have you considered perhaps you’re suffering from depression/ anxiety?


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    1. Swetha,
      You said some wisdom here. I am really happy that there are many who doesn’t support suppressing one’s emotions. You rightly said that can spoil one’s health.It did to me in the past. I hate to suppress.

      And the three suggestions you gave are very nice which needs to be practiced and kept in mind before hand for these kind of emotional moments. An emotional person needs to be ready to rock.

      Regards, CP

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    2. Swetha, thank you for taking time to pen down your thoughts. You are right on all the points you mentioned. For the scale of emotions, some may be on the higher side, I am certainly there. Life sometimes is a puzzle that completely feels to be giving us unfair clues and impacts where we are heading, especially when we have deal with all of it alone, it is tough. This is one reason I have been breaking down often. While I too had the doubt initially on depression, it was only that I grew weaker in terms of being able to handle hurt. I am currently working on getting better. Once again, thank you for all inputs 🙂

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