FOOLING OTHERS OR OURSELVES ???

None of us are beyond lying. I am not talking about deliberate lies but the petty lies we say like we hangout with friends and tell our parents that we are returning from college 🙂 These lies are not harmful I agree, but more often I am confronted with one truth, that we all lie to over selves, in one word self-deception. 

We fool ourselves into believing something that is false, and we refrain from accepting the truth. The fact is we lie to ourselves about very insignificant things to important life changing decisions we make.  

I want to quote an example here out of my experience which really has hurt me, made me wonder why people behave this way… 

My birthday is not known to many of my friends or colleagues, that’s because I maintain a very low profile. It does not appear on my social networking websites.

Last year one of my friend, who never knew when my birthday was, somehow found out that it’s my birthday and with a big exclamation said, ” Oh Dear, sooo sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I don’t know how I forgot your birthday, here are the wishes ” and she spoke for a minute or two.   I wondered why she is behaving as if she has forgotten a very important person’s birthday ? we were never that close. I was irritated a bit, but I paid little attention at that time. 

This year same scene repeated, but this time she got to know from another friend that my birthday passed by months later, he he !! Same exclamation and expression., well this time on social networking site she announced that she forgot it…”For God’s sake can you stop acting” was my thought, but it is not good to say that on someone’s face, so I just thanked.  I would have preferred if she would have rang me up instead of posting publicly. I really don’t mind when people forget, it’s natural and I do too…

This incident made me feel very hurt, I like her and respect her, may be that’s why it was tough on me. Why do people show off ? What do we get by lying and fooling around someone. Intentional or unintentional ? the line between them is blurry.

We mislead ourselves all day long… We tell ourselves that we are smarter and good looking than others, we don’t have enough time to help a colleague, we are too busy to make a few phone calls or check on our friends. 

We lie about our age, who cares what our real age is ? Why do we have to lie about it ?

When we encounter a friend of ours at a grocery store, we say “Aww, you look so pretty!!! “. Wasn’t she good looking otherwise? This is a kind of flattery to be nice, consciously we are aware we are lying.

We lie about why we married whom we did,  about what career we chose. Some people boost to an extent that it can be easily made out as a lie. We married whom we wanted to marry, does that require a reason or justification ?

We are unable to accept that we are fooling ourselves by giving reasons to others, it is psychologically effecting us. We deceive ourselves because of fear and ego. Fear of being rejected or taken for a wrong understanding. Living in a fantasy lie, forgetting what the reality is can turn out to be a costly mistake, a mistake that may not have a chance to be corrected later. Friends, let’s be careful and keep a watch on ourselves …