​RESPOND BEFORE YOU THINK OF REACTING

Parenting is an ongoing challenge, a learning every day. Right after my elder son turned 2, my voice became high-pitched. No matter how much you try, kids DO NOT listen to you until you shout. Having an experience of teaching pre-primary children for over 3 years, and having professional qualification in Pre-Primary Education, I am quite aware of the behavioural and temperamental issues of the kids. But, when it comes to your own child, I feel all the experience and studies go down the drain. So, basically from the terrible 2 to fiery 5, like most of the mommies, I feel myself doing herculean tasks every now and then, especially after having my second baby.

It was one of those days when I was sleep deprived, physically exhausted and mentally strained. I decided to go outside for a walk in the fresh air, along with kids. I just fixed up my all-the-time-messy hair slightly and was applying lip balm on my chapped lips, when my 5-year-old said, “Mumma, make-up isn’t necessary, we aren’t going for a party”. Lo and behold! I just lost my control and slapped him, thinking that how dare the little kid even say a thing like this to me. Shouts and cries followed a few moments and then finally we went out. I realised how badly I had reacted. I could have told my son about the difference between getting ready for a party and getting ready to step out of the house. But, I used the short-cut and lost my temper. Whenever I behave this way, I repent and shed silent tears. Immediately afterwards, I apologise to my son and tell him that I love him. And like every little child, he behaves as if nothing has happened, because of his unconditional love. 

It is very easy to vent out your anger on to your children. All the stress, both physical and mental, primarily releases on the kids most of the time, which is wrong. I agree that little kids drive you crazy and you go bonkers due to their obstinate nature and never-ending demands. But, we need to understand that they are kids after all and hence cannot behave like adults. Patience is the key, I know it is a bit tricky, but then reacting instead of responding isn’t going to make things better. Kids need your time and attention, so listen to them and respond before you think of reacting.