There was a regional movie that was released in 2014. The heroine character in that movie is very peculiar. She is a totally inexpressive person. Love, anger, fear, whatever her feeling and emotion may be she never portrays it outside. So, she doesn’t even smile and her facial expressions don’t change what so ever.
One of my very good friend and then my colleague as well, saw the movie and said, “You are just like the girl’s character in that movie“. I was totally taken aback by what he was saying, on top of that he dedicated a song from that movie to me and said, “carefully listen to that song, you are a different person than you think you are”. I argued with him for quite some time to prove that I am not, but he meant more than the facial expressions of that character. It really took some time for me to realize what is that he was trying to explain me.
A lot of people who saw me transform in the last one year have felt that I am very different person than what I was earlier. I had a long hair, always traditionally dressed, no make-up, I never laugh in public, calm and a silent going girl. Now, I am more trendy, try different hair cuts, I hangout with new people without apprehension, I do laugh out loud if I feel like… I am a more happier person. There is one person who really thought I needed this transformation only because he really understood me, three years ago… I am so glad to have a friend who can read me to near perfection, when I couldn’t …
All thanks to him, it’s only because of him I really started dwelling into myself on what I really want to be like. There is always one message or call I get from him that simply says, “I am so happy to see you like this”. Every new DP of mine that depicts the new me, he does ping me to say only this. I know he means more than his expression, in fact I can say that he is happy from the bottom of his heart to see the true me, the free me who is not controlled by myths.
Can you relate to this ? If so, why do you think this happens with us?
When somebody tells us that we look happier when we spend time with pets, eventually we tend to believe that it’s true and we may end up owning a pet too. When we are confused we infer from our behavior or from what someone else says .
This phenomena in social psychology is called self-perception. Everyone of us have a perception about ourselves. We study how we react to certain situations and build our emotions related to that. Since we may be very confused about our feelings it’s natural to do so.
Until we come to an authentic, well thought of and unclouded idea of who we are, we are only a reflection of the opinions of other people; we are a reflection of what others believe about us, we are clouded by their opinions. People instruct us, hold opinions and pass judgment, and we buy in. Negative perception results in shame, lot of people misunderstand this as shyness of a person, but that’s not true. This can be harming you from within.This happened with me, all the frustration piled up and one fine day just burst out, screaming “Can you just try to be you ?”
To be frank, the fact is, we can never be 100% accurate about ourselves, but having said this, it is not impossible to learn if you are drifting away from the real you. Some times you may be happy even if you are drifting, but you would never feel the satisfaction. The more you feel dissatisfied, the more you know there is something that is not right. What really helps is self introspection and talking to people who care about you. Don’t give up on something you really like only because someone else thinks you cannot have it, or worth of it. What you are worth of should always be defined you with help of others. Only a happy and satisfied you can resonate the same to others …
“It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try we may, we are never able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us. This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good heart whatever they might have to say.”
― Mahatma Gandhi