Yesterday, while I was walking down the aisle, I accidentally met one of my colleague who works in a different team in the same group as mine.
He involuntarily asked, “Long time, haven’t seen you.. How was your US trip?”. I said it was good and inquired about his health. He hasn’t been keeping well for over a month now. We talked for sometime and he asked, “Were you on leave last week ? Haven’t seen you in the monthly interaction meeting …”. I took couple of days of sick leave last week and did miss the monthly interaction meeting, I told him the same.
There was a surprise on his face and some curiousness in his eyes. He stressed on his question and asked me again “Are you sure, your US trip was OK?”. I was still finding out apt words, before that he again said, “I am asking you because, things weren’t good during my trip”.
I knew I can express what I feel to him, and we ended up talking and cribbing on the work culture for more than 1 1/2 hours. One of my peer took all the credit and the hard work I have put into his account and this has definitely hurt me.
By the end of the talk he just said, “I don’t want you to suffer. I would give my honest suggestion, think of your career and do what is best for you. People would try to exploit you as long as you keep quiet and accept the way you are being treated. Well, you are not such a girl, you are very good with work. I don’t want you to be too humble.”
I won’t entirely blame work culture for this, my fault is big too. Though my peer has not exhibited humility in appreciating the support he has got from others, I failed to consider putting myself in the right context before Program Management team. Many times because of our subtleness, we simply expect our actions to speak for us.
Our assumption that staying focused and working hard, would pay off may entirely take the other direction. This old way of thinking simply leaves our chances of success up to luck.
Because I was being too humble, I have been receiving the liking for all the wrong reasons. I don’t ask for promotions or a higher pay. Why wouldn’t it be convenient for anyone to exploit me when I am showing the door?
If we are too humble, people may not know what value we bring to the team or the organisation and we may loose opportunities. Some times it is extremely important that we put our accomplishments into words and create the value and make an impression.
The same holds very good in personal relationships too. Never expect that the love and care you are showing would be valued. The time you spend and your efforts may go unnoticed.
Never have arrogance or false pride but please don’t be too humble at the same time, you may fall prey.