Feedback Is important, I agree. Feedback is something you return, some opinion or thought you give back when you get something, so it should be respective of what you got. It should be given keeping in perspective the age, condition, circumstances, effort and intention of the other person. But is honest feedback so important? Yes, you read it right, I am asking you or rather I am telling you the importance of dishonest feedback.
The other day I went to a birthday party, and saw a little boy eating cake, sitting alone in the corner. He had no hair, he was bald, and his sunken eyes, black circles, fragile health, thin structure left no doubt in my mind that he was battling some severe kind of cancer. It was a costume theme party, and he was dressed as a pirate, all the kids looked pretty and beautiful, they were being complimented by family and friends. I sat next to this boy, and he looked up at me, there was expectation in his eyes, I told him he looked great, and it was a Brilliant idea to shave his head to look like a real pirate. I saw a dazzling smile on his lips and for that moment he was proud of his looks. A dishonest feedback, one that made me feel much better than that kid.
One day I was having severe ache in the knee, nothing eased it, no painkiller, no ointment, no exercise, moved by my pain, my granny got up with effort and came to me holding the wall despite my protest that she can’t help me. She sat next to me and chanted something, caressing my knee after each chant, she did a 108 without stopping, I gave up and let her do it. When she was done she looked at me confidently and asked ” tell me you don’t feel better? Say that my chanting hasn’t eased the pain?”, trust me friends, the pain wasn’t any less than before, but I nodded without thinking twice, and saw the tension lines on her forehead disappear. How could I tell her, that it did nothing whatsoever?
These examples are not to prove that we need to lie to make others happy, but just to make you realise that Feedback needs to be circumstantial at times, the purpose of feedback is to let other person improve, to help him/her, to guide him/her. It should never be done with brutal honesty, sometimes a little dishonestly too, helps a child to improve and get better. So next time when you give your feedback, add humility and kindness to honesty, rephrase your words, soften your tone, smile a little and let your eyes Instill confidence in them. Each time you give a feedback, ask yourself, that did you feel happy giving this feedback ? Trust me, your heart will give you honest feedback.
Help me get better, help me improve
Let me reach you, let me see into your heart
Tell me my flaws, tell me my strengths
Be by my side, and watch me make amends…
I promise to listen, I promise to give you that, what is needed
I am not perfect, let me tailor-cut myself to suit you
Whisper in my ear, hold my hand as you say it
Say it not with words but with feelings, so my heart will listen.
Candles Online 