“Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe — and you’re ready.”

Our God loves relationships. He created man and woman and wanted them to be as intimate as possible. That’s why He created marriage. We all know that marriage unites a man and a woman and sex improves it. So He created sex for them. He had planned it very beautifully and uniquely much before they were created. He created sex because it helps a man and woman to be UNIQUE. It helps them to be ONE. It helps them to be INSEPARABLE. Yes! Although it is true that the mind and soul in any relationship are more important aspects than sex but it does improve a marital bond. Sex is a wonderful gift of God for  married couples.

But today’s world thinks differently. Many are engaged in premarital sex. An author says, “For many teenagers today, sex is a means of communication, a new experience, an index of maturity, a source of peer approval and a challenge to restrictive parents or society, and an escape from loneliness or other pressures of life.”

Sex is a powerful force and ought to be used properly; that is within the boundary of marriage. If it is not used properly, people indulging in it have to pay a heavy cost. You may ask what can be the costs? I would love to explain them as under:

Costs of Pre-marital Sex

Premarital sex has adverse effects on the person’s whole being. It also affects few other aspects of life that are directly associated to the person involved.

Adverse effects on the person:

On the Mind:
Sexual activity arrests the minds of young people or as for that matter any adult. They become deprived psychologically. Their social and academic development gets affected terribly. Their academic performances and performances in their work places decrease. Premarital sex is unsatisfactory, especially for girls as its not secure.

Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.

Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong bond between mum and baby and is released during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mum’s breast automatically releasing milk at the mere sight or sound of her young baby.

It is very clear from the above mentioned statements that sex unites a man and a woman. Each time when a person gets involved in varied sexual encounters and moves out of it, it affects his / her mental faculty. These encounters are like small marriages and divorces. And this affects his / her family life when he / she actually gets married and lives with a different person. The sexual memories haunt the person day and night, years after years. Premarital sex leaves a scar, which torments that person throughout his / her life.

On the Body:
The youth or any adult involved in premarital sex may contract one of the many venereal diseases rampant today. They can also contract the deadliest disease like AIDS, because contraceptives don’t give 100% protection. In the later stage or after marriage they can become infertile because of sexually transmitted diseases.

Young girls or single adults may suffer from unwanted pregnancies, abortions, miscarriages etc.

On the Spirit:
Sex between unmarried persons is called fornication. So premarital sex is a sin. When people go against the nature or God they cannot live in peace. Some people live in severe guilt because of sexual compulsionsNeither they can disclose it nor they can leave the habit. Sometimes they feel degraded morally also. Sometimes they feel very lonely. Many people commit suicide for the guilt of sexual sins.

Adverse effects on the other aspects of life:

Society doesn’t allow these things though these days premarital sex has stealthily crept into societies. But when somebody is exposed he or she is shunned and put to shame in the society. Rest of the people in the society stop talking and mingling with the person’s family who is exposed of premarital sexual encounter. The story of exposed person encourages other singles or young people to get involve in premarital sex, which is really a bad sign for the society.

The youth or the single adult involved in premarital sex can bring shame to themselves as well as to their families. The parents and other relatives of that person feel ashamed to show their faces before outsiders.

Children born:
The children that are born outside marriage can have terrible psychological problems, because of single parents. They may have to face taunting words in schools, colleges and even in work places.

My dear young and single adult friends! The costs of premarital sex are very heavy and painful. So do not engage yourself in premarital sex, for which you may have to pay a very high and costly price later. WAIT is the key word for you. Wait till you are married. Enjoy the wonderful gift of sex after marriage.

We will discuss more on this subject later this week. Good night!!!

Stay Blessed!!!


  1. It is sad and pathetic to see some of the younger generation who boast about premarital sex. They say biology and chemistry is working together to bring out biochemical reactions. It is sad to see as a parent who trust their kids blindly..


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