It was my first day in a new city, while I was returning from work, I lost my way back to the hostel. I hurriedly glanced at my phone, neither there was signal nor I could see any lights nearby. It was 10.12 PM, damn dark and I was hardly able to even hear any sounds, except my own breath.
Something inside me was shaking, my palms sweating, legs trembling, heart beat racing up n up as minutes passed by, I wandered in different directions searching for a way out of that place.
I have a brain like a sieve when it comes to directions, no wonder I lost my way. Tumbling through bones scattered all around the place, stinking odor all around, I unknowingly uttered, “My God !! Where did I end up ? How on earth would I find anyone for help ?”.
Each minute that passed by was like a life time. After an hour ‘n’ half, I finally found my way back to the hostel.The thoughts I was going through are hard to explain in words, the scariest of the nights of my life till date.
Wondering what the place was ? It was a graveyard, that was being dug for some construction. This is what happens when city grows around graveyards.. Lol !!
This incident in anyway does not mean that I am a coward. I have done adventures, that many people don’t even think of doing 🙂 . No matter, how gutsy a person is, there can still be fears that they go through.
Get on to the web and there are tons of phobias that are defined. It sometimes scares me to even read about some of them. Fear of heights, people, spaces, socializing , rejection, failure …
Feeling of fear can arise due to various causes – changes, past experiences, influence from books, movies, circumstances, helplessness, lack of confidence etc.,
We usually get to hear these statements: “I cannot sleep alone in the night”, “I am afraid of taking up responsibility”, “I cannot take up this new job”, “ I cannot see my mother go through the surgery”…
As infants, are we aware of fear? Consider an infant trying to get down a bed … They never jump off the bed, instead they carefully slide their body taking support of the rim of the bed and comfortably make a landing. As we grow, we also let our fears grow, which may be innate or induced.
Fear can also be healthy and helpful. Fear is the underlying force of our lives that keeps us feeling “stuck” or “safe” as the case may be. Sometimes it has saved us from entering into dangerous situations and the other times it may have prevented us from pursuing something that could have been a life-changing opportunity.
Fear can keep us from boarding airplanes, making new acquaintances, falling in love, trying something new, asking for a raise in pay and the worst of all – may not let us fall asleep at times. 😀
Fear is not negative, but because of fear we start to think negatively and assume that we would suffer in the course of handling something.
Below are a few ways we can get comfortable with our fears and behaviors that can be kept a watch on
- Accept fear: The situation and the circumstances may or may not be known, but we have to face it. Accepting that we have fear would help us find better ways of overcoming it.
- Analyse: Analyse fears, they may belong to any category, less or more intensive. Once we analyse what kind of activities are causing fear, it would he relatively simple to handle them
- Trust yourself : Often, more than the task, we are worried about the results. “If I fail to do the presentation, I have to face my boss and he would be angry at me ” , “If I fail to score well, my parents would be unhappy with me”. With the fear of facing the consequences, we may not be giving our 100% to the task itself. We need to believe in our self.
- The Now: You are in the present and the future has not occurred yet. Something has happened in the past may not happen again, it’s only our imagination that it would. You are still in the position to shape the future into whatever outcome you desire -, Now
- Control your thoughts: Doing this is the toughest, I agree. But keeping an eye on our negative thoughts – I can’t, never-ever – these shall be put a full stop to.
- Childhood fears: Children, they are like wet clay ready to be molded from what they hear or learn. Adults shall not make negative statements or create fears, usually fears that are created in childhood last for long. Stop breeding fear into children’s thoughts by threatening or scolding.
- Ruling out: Never rule out anyone’s fear. You may basically be saying they are stupid and you don’t respect what they are going through. Instead provide your support to understand and offer help where they need it.
- Procrastinating : Wondering, how this made into this list ? I am not talking about being lazy type procrastination.. We always postpone doing things where we have a lot of unknowns, basically fear of. Attack the task that challenges you the most, first.
Fear limits your full potential and takes a lot of energy on which isn’t even guaranteed to happen. Fear cautions us and gives us a heads up to prepare ourselves better for the challenge ahead. Let’s not let fear limit our dreams. Attempting to do something that we are fearful of itself is winning over fear.
Try coming out of your fears and conquer the world of your dreams with a new ‘YOU’