Today, I am gonna write about a girl whom I have known from an NGO, I am associated with. The NGO works towards eradicating sexual harassment and rape.
Neha, even though she is very young, is a superb speaker. Her talks are very motivational. There are a lot of qualities in her which interested me.. I was quite impressed by the way she handled a 12 year old girl facing sexual harassment. She did have the knack of it, yes, she had the knack of reading emotions quite well. She very well knew till what extent she had to offer help, and then empower the girl to lead the fight on her own, which is great. She cannot be everywhere where the girl may face this again.
Few months back , we volunteers were chatting about our personal lives as well as the professional fronts. The chat turned directions and we started discussing about sexual harassment at workplace. She was all silent, but at a certain stage she burst open and in a loud voice said “Men would never change. No matter how much we try to be friendly, they are in their own world ” and then she turned silent again.
I observed her all along our conversation, she was uninterested in the talk. While we were about to go home, I asked her if there was anything wrong?
She waited a minute, looked at me and started to cry. She did spend a lot of time crying before she opened up and said that she was facing sexual harassment at her work place.
Can you please pause for a minute and think what the problem could be ? A motivational speaker, volunteer of an NGO working on sexual harassment, aware of all the laws and ways help can be procured from, then why is she suffering ? What is the use of her knowledge ?
If I were to put it in one single sentence, she was not giving enough importance to her own emotions.
She had an outburst because she has been piling up the feeling of hurt inside her. Lodging a complaint against the harassment is only first step, she has to deal with the emotional trauma. Not being able to do this has resulted in her current situation.
Not only Neha, few people who are very empathetic, understanding and have the intelligence to handle the emotional part of relationships very well fail to give enough attention to their own feelings. So true it is, that I came across few tens of people and I am also one of them.
We need to find ways to address our emotions. Not getting along with our own emotions, negative or positive are only going to ruin our future. We humans ignore what we feel, as we grow and become more responsible, which is good, but we need to be very careful with our after thoughts.
Anger, envy, frustration, hurt, disappointment, love, happiness, grief, fury, ecstasy – what ever the emotion is, respect it.
Emotional Quotient is not only being able to recognize others feelings but our own too… We tend to miss one or the other. Some can be very empathetic to others and some give more importance to their own feelings. Neither is wrong; it depends on the situation, what needs more attention and also finding the right balance to nurture the inter-personal relationships.
Your emotion may become secondary, but never shall be lost.