I had not understood the healing power of humility and forgiveness till that incident which really changed my thinking.
I was in college that time, may be around 19/20 years age old. I used to play with my neighboring kids who were staying in our paternal houses on rent. There were almost 10 families who were staying on rent. There was one family of a husband, a wife, and a small kid. The husband was a private electrician. Financially they were not well to do. We were all respected in front of them being their land and house owners.
Once we were playing cricket on the small yard in front of their houses. And it was somehow obstructing this man’s work which we all didn’t know. Suddenly, while we were busy playing he started scolding the kids indirectly pointed at me. I just looked at his face. He was not looking at me but indirectly was talking to me. We stopped playing and I went back to my home little ahead of that yard.
I got my hands and legs washed up. But my mind was stuck there with that man. I was burning inside. My heart was pounding and I was feeling heavy as my anger was rising to the highest point. I could not concentrate on any of my works. I was walking back and forth furiously in my home. My mom even asked me what happened. I just avoided her. But my anger was growing inside me. I could not accept a low status man to scold me even if it was indirectly.
The time passed by. But my rage was not controlled. I was restless. I was suffering inside because of the anger which was literally burning my heart inside. I could not resist anymore. I felt like hitting that man on his face. I felt like shouting at him. But I know it’s not possible. He was quite older to me and we were not brought up that way from our childhood. But it was intolerable.
Finally I decided to go and ask him on his face. I will confront him with humility. I will ask him about his shouting at the kids which were actually directed towards me. I went straight to their house. I saw him standing in front of his house. I just gave a nod to him. He came out.
I just calmly asked him, “brother…what was my fault that you scolded kids indicating me indirectly… which was hurting…”
He held my hands with his at once and said, “No no… I never intended that against you… I was annoyed because my work was getting interrupted and I was frustrated for my personal problems… I am so sorry, I hurt you…”
I calmed down right away. I felt I became pink from dark as if I was strangled for sometime and now the flood flow was on in my veins. I smiled and said, “no no…don’t say sorry. It’s Okay… I came and asked you because I was feeling alright about you and was angry.”
We both shook hands and I came back home relieved. There was peace and calmness ruling in my heart, mind, and even body when I forgave him. I got healing holistically, instantly. I came to know the power of simple humility and forgiveness which really transformed me from a raging bull to a cool and calm dove.
I thanked God for not allowing me to be a fool and teaching me such a powerful lesson in life which I remember even today.
Wikipedia defines, “Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.”
June Hunt says,
- Forgiveness is dismissing a debt dismissing your demand that others owe you something.
- Forgiveness is releasing your resentment, releasing your right to hear “I am sorry” or your right to get even. Forgiveness is as much about you as your offender. It removes from you the weight of resentment, freeing you to live a life of joy and peace.
Forgiveness and reconciliation looks same but it is not same. Reconciliation is a process where two people are needed whereas for forgiveness only one is required. Forgiveness doesn’t make the person receiving forgiveness guilt free but the person who is forgiving frees from anger and resentment. Forgiveness is more important to us than our offenders as we saw the definition given by June Hunt. Forgiveness heals us completely which I felt that day when I was a young boy of 20.
Keep reading as we will be going deeper into the subject of forgiveness throughout the week.