Parents are the source of our life. They are the ones who created us and yet we tend to take them and their love for granted all the time. It tears me apart to see some people treating their parents like unwanted furniture and some others who have developed horrible ego clashes with their parents and refuse to stay in touch with them. There are others who blame their parents for everything from high cholesterol to low inherited property.
When I say “source”, I mean “roots” here on earth. When the roots are well grounded and foundation is strong only then the tree or building can stand on its own strongly against all odds. It has been proven through multiple research that people who are well connected with their source i.e. parents tend to have a better life emotionally, physically, financially and socially. Needless to say, the kids who witness separation, divorce or abusive marriage of their parents have a very stressful childhood that has its own consequences.
Usually, following are the phases of feelings towards the parents
6 to 10 years – My daddy is the strongest and my mom is the best
11 to 20 years – Mom and Dad are irritating, interfering, and old-fashioned – can never understand me. I want to run away from them
21 to 26 years – You aren’t so bad, Mom and Dad
27 to 35 years – You were right Mom and Dad
35 to 50 years – I miss you Mom and Dad.
50+ years – Please come back Mom and Dad. I need you more than anything.
It is normal for teenagers to become distant with their parents, but eventually for the years to come as we grow older and wiser we get closer and much closer to our parents. A lot of people like us carry the grudges from teens and early 20s and only get more and more distant with their parents. The roots tend to get weaker and weaker over the years.
If you are holding a grudge against your parents for whatever reason it might be, understand that:
- Your parents are also humans – they might have made mistakes in bringing you up. They might or might not have realized it, but what is more important for you – your ego or the strength of your roots.
- Your parents had a strong influence from their own past – Your parents were brought up in an environment that is very difficult for you to imagine. They had their own set of difficulties during their childhood that has molded them in a certain way. Do not try to change that molded personality, they are what they are due to their own experiences of life.
- Learn to forgive them – Some things that your parents said or did might have pinched you a bit too much. Learn to forgive them, they make mistakes just like you do and they might not realize them just like you do not realize your mistakes.
- Your parents love you – whether they scolded you, punished you, made you work and study day and night; they always had the best intention for you. They always wanted the best for you. Their way of showing their love might not be the best way according to you, but never doubt their love and intention for you.
Create a strong foundation for yourself. Go and give your parents a tight hug and tell them that you love them as much they love you. Respect them. Do not take them for granted. They spent their entire lives looking after you; you can definitely take some time off your busy schedule to make them feel special.
Remember you exist because of them. You are healthy and wealthy because of them. You got your brains, your looks, your personality, your habits and a lot more from them. Thank them for giving birth to you and loving you unconditionally. No part of your family is as important as them – because they are your source.